The SnailRace8000

A picture of a snail race. 8 lanes with snailsIt is finally upon us - without hyperbole, the greatest sporting event in the history of the planet - or any planet for that matter. Oh, those pesky Panteks on Pan Major 4 claim that Skittle Skuttle is the superior sport, but deep down in their main hearts they know that it doesn’t come close.

So what are we talking about? Snail Racing, of course. And what’s the best of the myriad of snail racing leagues? The SnailRace8000.


This season’s league promises to be among the best in the competition’s long and illustrious history, with any one of the eight competitors in with a chance of taking home the coveted prize. And with the recent scandals involving the chairman of SCEACFOSRA having to resign in disgrace and the missing funds still unaccounted for, SCEACFOSRA have been forced to open up the racing to the world by selling broadcasting rights.


And it’s all here - every race, every interview, every scandal in The Octagon - Don’t miss it!




Current Standings

Position Athlete Carrot Cup Brocolli Oaks Lettuce St. Ledger Spinach Stakes Apple Derby Brussels Sprouts Handicap Cucumber Classic 8000 Guineas Total
1 Dennis 0  0  0  0  0  0  0 0 0
2 Professor Elisa 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
3 O Dogg 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
4 Contagion 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
5 Lord Superior 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 1067 - ε 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Stinky Lee 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
8 Lorenzo Lustre 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0